Mega May - a big month for movies, politics and sport

Avengers, Deadpool, Solo, Champions League, NBA playoffs and votes on Brexit legislation. So many big, exciting things happened this month (and boring Brexit stuff) but I missed a lot of it because May is also near the end of the school year with lots of exam things to prepare. I did see Avengers, so I'll talk about that. I also saw the Champions League final (highlights), so I'll laugh about that. I couldn't care less about the NBA, so I won't talk about that. Finally, I will finish with some boring political stuff. Hold onto your butts.

The undisputed king of the box office this month is quite clearly the latest Avengers film. It's early numbers were enormous and I won't be surprised to see it reach $2billion by the end of its run. In all honesty, the success of the film is more down to the way Marvel built up to it over the past ten years than it is to do with the quality of the film itself. I watched it with my wife, in an extremely comfortable new cinema near us, and left feeling rather numb to it all. My wife is a very casual film fan, so she had no idea what was going on or who most of the people were, but she did laugh at the jokes and go quiet during the emotional scenes. One sign that the fim didn't really hit the right notes is that she didn't leave the cinema crying, which she always does if anything sad happens (regardless of how bad the film in). This one should have been a real tear jerker, but everything moved along so quickly that there was no time to pause and let the emotional sledgehammers make any impact. The characters didn't seem to be too upset about anything (making yet another quip within minutes of a tragic event) so why should the audience feel anything? The ending had all of the emotional impact taken out of it by the knowledge that they would never actually kill off characters with future films already announced, so Marvel are obviously going to bring them back in the next one. All in all, the film was yeat another emotionless CGI fest where the stakes were so high that they became meeningless. It was a textbook example of "and then" strytelling but the fact it is making so much money means we're going to get a lot more of it. The art of telling a story and building characters is dead and has been replaced by sheer volume of characters and meaningless spectacle. I'm still going to watch the next one (as I am a completist) but I think this is the beginning of the end of my interest in the Marvel Universe.

So, right after Avengers we got Deadpool, well you got Deadpool but it didn't come out in China so I didn't. I am trying to stay away from Deadpool stories and spoilers so that I can see it when it's released online, so no talking about that here.

How about Solo? Pointless. It's just a boring, paint-by-numbers space adventures with Chewie and some people who have your favourite character's names but aren't your favourite characters. To be fair, Lando is very Lando but his robot partner managed to ruin most of the scenes with him in. The heist the film is based around was a simple job of just walking in and taking something with pretty much no resistance and the rest of the film was convoluted crap written to just fit in a few more easter eggs. It's not a terrible film, but it's not one anyone needs to see and I don't think anyone will. There's a huge debate about Star Wars and Star Wars fans raging on the internet, but it's a false flag operation for left-wing Americans to attack right-wing Americans (and vice-vera) and all very boring, so I won't get into it.

A more interesting event was the Champions League final between Real Madrid and Liverpool. I hate both of those teams, so I didn't really care who won but it was a good laugh to see Karius literally throw the game away. I'm still laughing about it now. Liverpool fans were convinced that they were going to win (despite now trying to claim that they were just happy to be there) so it was wonderful to see them lose in such a dramatic way and to watch the fallout from it. Sometimes, being a football fan can be a thankless task but occasionally the football gods offer up a piece of delicious theatre to remind you why you continue to be so addicted to it.

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Unfortunately May wasn't just a month for cultural events that bring people together, it was also another month of inertia and in-fighting for Brexit. Brexit negotiations are getting nowhere and it's no surprise that this is the case when half of parliament is trying to ruin everything just to make the other half look bad. The most important political event of my lifetime should have been a moment that party politics was put aside for the good of the country, but it has just resaulted in pointless squabbling and point scoring. It's pathetic and the whole thing is going to be a disaster if they politicians don't wake up to reality. Britain's whole negotiating position was hobbled from the start when the government was forced to promise that there would be no hard border in Ireland. Once that promise was made, the EU had no reason to come to the table and negotiaite. They just sit there and as "What about Ireland?" and wait for the British governement to negotiate against itself. A huge strategic mistake which has sunk the entire enterprise. The British need to take that promise off the table and start planning for a no-deal Brexit, or the country will find itself tied to the EU forever. (I'm not saying that the UK should go through with a no-deal Brexit, but it has to be willing to accept that outcome just to get the EU to take these negotiations seriously).

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A pretty drab month, all considered. Mega May was a flop for me, so hopefully June will bring something better. Is a decent World Cup in Russia too much to ask for?

Another one bites the dust!

Amber Rudd has fallen on her sword, or Teresa May's sword to be more exact. The past few weeks have been a disaster for an up-and-coming MP who seemed to have her head screwed on and was well respected by the public. Lying to parliament or struggling to remember targets that you have set yourself (whichever the case may be) is the sort of idiocy that ruins careers and makes everyone involved look very silly indeed. As such, a once potential leader of the Conservative party has been consigned to the back benches until enough time has past that people forget this transgression... except that she only won her seat at the last election by a handful of votes and might not win it at all after this mistake. To be honest, she should have been more prepared for the inevitable scandal because the curse of the Home Office has taken down many a politician. Teresa May came through a long stint unscathed, but she was mean spirited and cruel and laid the groundwork for her colleague's demise with her heartless policies. Full disclosure, I have a non-EU wife and thus have a particular axe to grind when it comes to Teresa May, in addition to her complete incompetence as Prime Minister.

Usually a rash of scandals, resignations and leaks is the sign of a government's impending demise. These particular scandals should be more damaging than most as well due to their nature. Most of the time political scandals involve cash for votes, dodgy expenses and sex (either shagging a secretary/rent-boy or hosting coke-fuelled, Nazi-themed orgies). We've had a bit of the latter with porn on an office computer and some light knee touching, but mostly the scandals have been about shadow diplomacy, incompetence and pathetic cover-ups. It's mostly been tame stuff but at the pointy end of government. Couple all that with reshuffles that don't actually shuffle anything and defeats in parliament (and impending defeats on key Brexit legislation in the House of Lords) and Teresa May should be finished.

Luckily for Mrs. May, the opposition is in equal disarray. The antisemitism row just won't go away for Labour (as surprising as that is in a country without a particularly large Jewish community or a great deal of sympathy for them) and Jeremy Corbin is taking every opportunity he can to prove that he can't be trusted to protect the nation or its citizens if he ever becomes PM. The Lib-Dems have a strong and well respected leader, but he is handcuffed by the student politicians who make up the party's ranks and the daft policies that are forced upon him: the elderly, who vote in droves, will never vote to legalise marijuana and everyone sees through their self-serving calls for votes for children and proportional representation (which will provide a few more seats for them but also guarantee weak governments, and a larger disconnect between local communities and Westminster). Until Labour supporters rejoin the real world and Lib-Dems grow up, there is no opposition to the least capable and most divided government of my lifetime.

So, the UK is doomed to drift rudderless into the dark storm of Brexit (which could and should have been a huge opportunity for an ambitious nation of innovators and traders). The country stumbles along while others thrive and inequality between generations, classes and entire regions of the country grows and cuts through society like a huge chasm. There's no fixing what's broken until one of the two main parties takes decisive action to replace their toxic leaders (or the Lib-Dems stop going for easy votes and put together a manifesto that normal people can actually take seriously - a lot of their policies on taxation, the economy and support for business make a lot of sense, but get ignored because of the ridiculous ones highlighted above). The whole thing makes me glad I'm far away from it all. As The Sun once commented when New Labour rose to power: the last one out, please turn off the lights.

Happy (Chinese) New Year

The 15th of February was Chinese New Year and, as I sad in the previous blog post, I am one of the lucky 外国人 (foreigners) who gets to experience this special event surrounded by a warm and very noisy Chinese family. This years celebrations were somewhat muted compared to the past few years, partly due to the ban on fireworks where I am (which was mostly followed) but also because of the rubbish new year show CCTV put on this year. The new year show is the centre piece of Chinese celebrations for many families and a talking point for months afterwards, but this year's version was so boring that not even the Chinese netizens (as they seem to like to be called) could think of anything witty to say about it. The performances were repetitive and unambitious, the singing was all pre-recorded and the songs were completely lacking in energy (apart from one song that was accompanied by two young dancers being shown up by a much older actor). Overall, it brought the night to an end on a disappointing anti-climax which was only just about tolerable due to the nobody else in my home drinking the copious amounts of booze I'd bought in preparation for the night.

For episode 427 of "The Whole World Has Lost the Plot!" a Chinese actress cam under fire for sending an snappagram picture of herself celebrating the festival with a caption wishing everyone a happy lunar new year. Chinese netizens (yes, them again) lost their collective shit over a Chinese woman, living in Vietnam, sending a message to the whole world with best wishes for a festival that is most associated with China but is also celebrated by many different countries and peoples thoughout Asia. Seriously, is there nothing that the internet won't get offended by?

The Fight for Chinese New Year's Soul

Spring Festival (Chinese New Year) is almost upon us and in China that means the biggest annual migration of people is about to commence so that workers spread all over the country can return home to be with family and take part in activities that celebrate the nations long and rich cultural history. Witnessing this event first hand as an outsider, as this writer has had the privilege to do the past few years, is quite astonishing and heartwarming. Major cities like Shanghai are emptied as everyone returns to their hometowns and lonely travelers are welcomed into homes across the country with warm smiles, mountains of food and far too many bowls (yes, bowls) of Chinese spirits. For most people it is a time of joy, camaraderie and pride in one’s community, society and the country. For others, with darker motives, it’s an opportunity for mischief, grandstanding and horrific displays of wanton cruelty.

       I am of course talking about the many cults that exist in the shadows of modern China and infect societies all over the world. The chief amongst these is Li Hongzhi’s Falun Gong. For those who are unaware of this cult, Falun Gong is a group that hides it’s destructive and hateful teachings behind a seemingly gentle public face and enormous PR machine (very much like Scientology). On the surface, they are a meditation/yoga group which preaches truthfulness, tolerance and forbearance, but it doesn’t take much to scratch below that top layer and reveal the destructive, homophobic and racist cult beneath (look here) Spring Festival has often been targeted by this cult as a prime PR opportunity to shape public opinion and gain sympathy for their cause.

       The main avenues of propaganda that Falun Gong has exploited in the lead up to this festival over the years have been “cultural extravaganzas,” Chinese New Year parades and a horrific self immolation event in January 2001. These also show the clear division between their activities in mainland China (sabotage, extortion and murder) and in the rest of the world (arts performances, public displays and leafleting).